Doing It Anyway

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)

 

 

I lost my battle with the temptation of donuts, yesterday morning, and finally caved into the Sombar daily beach ritual of inhaling Krispy Kremes, from the "Farm Store."  I thought I'd be writing a different post, really.  I thought I'd be boasting of my will power and strength against old triggers- like fried dough, dipped in sugar.  Um...yeah...at first I scarfed down two...then today, it was two and a half.  Truth be told, I could have eaten a whole dozen.  Luckily, the embarrassment of buying that quantity saved me from such a disaster.  But I thought about it.  I pondered spending my whole Thursday eating donuts, in bed.  But then, that pesky "do the next right thing" idea floated through my mind, again, and I knew it was time to practice what I preach.

 

Headphones on, Fifty Cent rapping in my ears, I took off down Bunting Avenue, toward the mailbox, a half mile ahead, which was my turn-around point.  I am the slowest runner on earth.  Partially because I am a bit fattish.  But also because I hate running.  I get so out of breath, which feels like dying to me.  I have an aversion to dying, and anything that resembles dying. I told myself that I just needed to complete the mile, unbroken, and then, if I really was dying, or just totally miserable, I could quit.  Brad, one of my coaches, at CFMTL,  told me, the first and last time that the mile was scheduled as part of a workout, that all I had to do was finish the mile.  I've decided that he meant that in a forever sense.  Even though that was a month ago...really, for the rest of my life, all I really need to do is run that mile. (Though, maybe I should be shooting for more, at this stage in the game).

 

Eleven minutes and fifty seconds later, I arrived back at our rental.  Not dead, but wanting to be dead..or at least in bed...with donuts.. I know. 11:50 is a horrifying time to post.  Who in the world needs that long to run a mile? But I DID NOT STOP, PEOPLE.  AND REALLY, YOU NEED TO GIVE ME SOME CREDIT FOR OPTING FOR SWEATING AND PANTING INSTEAD OF BURYING MY FACE IN DONUTS.  

 

Then.....given what I currently look like in my bathing suit, I took about one hundred and fifty thousand deep breaths, and started the WOD, in the parking lot, probably to the horror and confusion of the neighbors:

 

WOD:Time4 Rounds

5 Hang Squat Cleans 155/115
5 Bar MU
30 Double Unders

 

Since I have no weights with me, on vacation, I swapped out the hanging squat cleans for air squats. And I also haven't located any pull-up bars near the townhouse (no, the lifeguard stands won't work- I checked), so I exchanged the five bar muscle ups for ten knee push-ups.  I am not yet able to do a double under, so instead I completed the required substitute of one hundred twenty singles, each round. 

 

Thirty singles into a total of four hundred and eighty, and out walk two of my lovely children, who refused to accompany their father to the beach, to begin their hourly campaign to make me insane.  "Mommy, what are you doing? Are you doing your WOD? Are you done, yet? How many have you done? Can we go to the pool? Can you do the WOD at the pool? Where is the pool key? Are you going to buy me new sunglasses, Mommy? Are we going to the boardwalk tonight? Are we going to the rides? Can we go to the arcade? Are you done yet? How much more do you have to do? Where is Daddy? Where is Lily? Where is Poppy?" I wanted to punch both of them in the face, then lie on the sidewalk and cry.  I really didn't have it in me to do four hundred and fifty more jumps.  I hate the jump rope.  Its so pretty but its as bad as running.  But, I kept forging onward, as did the children with diarrhea of the questions  "Mommy, we can't find the key...do you know where the pool key is Mommy? How much have you done? Are you done yet? When are you going to be done? Where do you think the key is?"

 

I finished my last two rounds, on the side of the community pool, because I am a push-over, sick of people whining, trying not to end up in jail for homicide  great mom.  Then, for dramatic effect, and because I am a nut, I jumped into said pool with my clothes on. 

 

I didn't want to move my body today, except to buy more donuts- then eat them.  But I did it anyway.  Because doing it anyway is the only road, to victory, over everything that holds me back.  And it is certainly the only way to stop being fat and a slave to food and a crossfit bad ass. 

 

What do you need to do anyway, today? If this girl can do a WOD like that, in public, and survive, then you certainly can do what you need to do, too.  This I know, for sure.